Well this is something everyone comes across life more than a couple of times. As humans we are all social beings. We need to find a sense of belonging and one of those would be by making friends. From the first day that we go to school at kindergarten we try to seek others who are similar in thinking, or somewhat similar in what you do, we try to find common factors with which we can bond over and it is a very social trait which pretty much does not change until death.
But what I am going to write to you about are not just friends but fake friends, these beings have reasons for which they try to seek people and that too is a very human trait. As human beings we are all selfish creatures no matter what we say, no matter how unselfish we call ourselves, we try to seek something from the other person to stay with them. It always begins this way, we are mentally wired to do that, we get to know the other person, we see what we can get from the other person, either mentally, physically, emotionally or in terms of money and that is what the reptilian part of our brain pushes us towards, the primal level. But as you get to learn more about the person, you grow out of these base human tendencies because we are all advanced species and we have evolved out of our primal urges to an extent. We seek a spiritual connection and that’s where we make close friends or what we could call friends for life and this is a topic for another day.
Now, coming back to the topic of fake friends, these are the ones who haven’t evolved out of their primal urges and stick to those, these are the ones who want to take all they can and seek not to give anything in return or very little in return. These friends mask their true intentions with pretty words and mirroring your every move. They are the ones who will talk pretty words in front of you and spread lies behind your back. They are the ones who will ask for advice and will spite you for it. They are the ones who get jealous about your happiness and your success and will try to pull you into their miserable thoughts and drive you to do the same to others. I warn you, stay away from any people who show any signs of these. It is difficult to identify these, but they always tend to slip and when they do slip it will continue, because they cannot control those primal urges and that is your cue. Run away as fast as you can and don’t look back. Do not give these people a second chance, there are no second chances with such people for they only seek to sink you into the ocean of negative emotions and everything else negative.
I have encountered my fair share of such people and have learnt my lessons the hard way and it is not really good if you have a good heart. One such person I met in the past was someone I considered a dear friend. A friend with whom I shared pretty much everything, my food, my thoughts, my fears, my happiness. I had even helped this person in time of their need when they were going through tough times with their career, their relationship and was always there with every sort of support that I could give. I was happy for their success when they had it, but what I came to learn later from elsewhere is that this person had spread bad words about me to others (though it backfired on them since I never did anything that this person spoke about), luckily for me, none of the people who listened to them agreed with them. But even after that, I forgave this person and I welcomed them back into my life.
That was not the end of it though, and this circle continued, the circle of anger, hate, jealousy. They continued doing the same, and then finally ghosted me which I was truly thankful for since this turned out for the better and I did not have to deal with them any longer.
Such people only drain away all your resources as a person, and it is better if you leave them on the first occurrence as it continues as a habit. And if such people want to still be part of your life, give them a chance only if they ask for forgiveness, but otherwise just leave. It is better if you still part ways with such people early on so that you are spared your time and resources which are better used on other people who deserve it. The people who deserve it will drive you to become a better person and celebrate your life and your successes in it and will truly be happy for you. Such people will push you to greatness and these are the people whom I truly cherish.
On a closing note, I had a huge group of friends in the past, so many that I would probably not be able to keep track of every single one of them. But now, I have only a handful I can literally count with my fingers and these are the people I cherish and would love to have around until the time I hit the dust. May you find friends like these whom you can hold dear to you heart.